5-Star Tips on Trust from a Lyft Driver

While riding in a Lyft on my return from a two-day client engagement, my driver, who was a bit of an extrovert, shared a recap of a very recent trip to the hospital due to an injury. Though it was late, in light of my 2018 intention to listen and be curious, I began to engage and share healthcare perspectives. When he talked about how it can be hard to say no to a doctor, it was time to land a powerful question: “What makes it so hard to say no?”

He was very clear in his response: “He’s a doctor; he starts out with a certain amount of earned trust for me.” And so it went. With four or five miles to go, I listened as he navigated my questions around the importance of trust and the power of focusing on the patient’s agenda. “Credentials are important,” he said. “What if they have no credentials?” I asked. “Well then, I have to feel like he really knows something and he’s not just parroting something back to me to persuade me to do something. I want them to assist in convincing me to meet my agenda, not selling me something to meet theirs.” Boom!

I had just spent two days with a bunch of new and semi-new young and impressionable sales minds in the tech world. This underlying theme — so eloquently brokered by my entrepreneurial ride-share driving sage — was what I had touched on with my clients and what I’m encouraging them to do with their clients. (There’s nothing like a good triangulation to give some validation to the ideas you share and perspectives you project out into the world.)

Trust is everything, though whether you have credentials for a particular area of expertise doesn’t necessarily make a you a genius. AND, more importantly, it doesn’t make you an expert at connecting to someone’s agenda. Establishing a space for trust and truly co-creating something that moves people forward requires curiosity, no judging, and an authentic desire to serve. Doctors have requirements by law to obtain the necessary credentials to work with us to provide services. That doesn’t necessarily make them the world’s best communicators. Car salespeople need no credentials and yet come with an amazing amount of responsibility; the purchase of a car can be an extremely important decision. And yet, they fight an amazing amount of negative stereotyping from years of distrustful behavior. To be clear, there are those in both positions who are able to establish trust and connect to us. But everyone in these fields is tasked with and, more importantly, morally obligated to connect trustfully. So are you.

We are in need of behaving in a trustful manner these days. No matter what we do for a living and no matter what the conversation is, it is on us to establish trust, connect to the other person, and get them where they want to go.

To ensure that happens when you connect — both professionally or personally — look for these signs that you’re moving into a trustful or distrustful space.

1. The person (or you!) is aggressively attempting to persuade an idea, purpose or thing. This kicks off our ‘primitive’ brain and makes us feel unsafe. What questions are they (or you!) asking? Are they (or you!) interested in what is really important at this moment? Feeling dismissed? Who’s doing all the talking?
2. The person (or you!) appears to be doubtful or judgemental. They (or you) could be naturally predisposed to being skeptical. Where is the disconnect? What is it that makes them (or you!) uncomfortable with this exchange of ideas, purpose or thing? Be candid and find out. Being skeptical isn’t a bad thing. They (or you!) just aren’t in a trustful place yet.
3. The person (or you!) is giving off great vibes and is excited about what is happening in this exchange. They (or you!) are open to being more co-creative, willing to experiment with these themes, and are asking questions that are more than “Do you like green or blue?” Questions like: “What’s next for us?,” “What can we do to make this happen?,” and “What’s a good outcome here?” are real winners and take us in a great direction.

When you hear “we” and “us” from their mouth or yours, you’ve hit a place where really good things can happen! Just ask your next rideshare driver, they’ll let you know when you’re a five-star experience! And it’s OK to tip them for theirs.