Social Hippo

33 days.  That’s how long it’s been since I gave up social media and surprisingly I’ve lived to tell this tale.  

Well, how did I get here?  (Channel David Byrne’s voice)

Those pesky New Year’s resolutions — at least the ones we don’t abandon ten days after we make them – got me into this experiment. Among the changes I committed to start – and in some cases make permanent – was to give up social media for January. My version of Dry January.

Things I noticed so far:

• I slept better.
• My skin became softer.
• I lost weight.
• I repaired relationships.
• My days were relaxed.
• I saved money.
• I had more energy.
• My concentration improved.
• My blood pressure and cholesterol levels went down!

Now I’m sure some of these cause you disbelief – me too! I’ll let you guess which ones were truly the result of this experiment.

To be fair, I noticed a reduced sense of comparison fatigue. I didn’t miss thinking about what I might be missing with my business and clients. I now understand the perceived value of being on LinkedIn, X and others ( I’ve only just returned to X aka Twitter and have never been on FB, IG or the Tic.) I am also questioning the real value to my business from a revenue-generating perspective.  Especially those platforms where I pay for a “premium” experience!

I like creating my own content – blogs, videos and newsletters, I’ve always loved writing. I’d like to think it helps my business but it’s not currently my business. Maybe it should be?( In which case, I better get a coach!)

It’s also an eye opener that I’m not seeking to return to these “safe spaces” anytime soon.  I like the outlet for displaying — even though not many see it the way I see it – my genius.  However, besides the critics and lack thereof, I really am not super motivated to go back to the post, click, refresh, click days.  It’s all good and works for others.  Or does it?  I see the notifications piling on the little app bug and I’m just not doing anything about it.  I’m even getting emails from my seemingly annoyed platform handlers that “Ruth just made a comment!” and “James is waiting for your answer!”  Meh.  

I recently reunited with one of my oldest and bestest college friends.  We met on the first day of our freshman year.  Last night while hanging with our wives in a beautiful sidewalk dinner setting, laughing and sharing new stories and old stories, he told me that he had written a book!  He was cautious and self-deprecating, saying it’s something he always wanted to do and his audience was his family, some select friends and most importantly, himself.  He provided me with a few opening pages and a request for mercy, saying he was never a writer. Yet, he is a writer! Why? Because he wrote a book.  Who cares who sees it, and who gives it X thumbs up and whether he gets the dubious Blue Ribbon Bestseller sticker on Amazon.  He wrote it and his story lives on.  

I know we all have one great story, or at least a pretty good one, in us.  To us the story is great.  For whatever reason, whatever impact it has or had on our lives here on this earthly plane, we have remembered it, edited it, rewrote and retold it countless times because it meant something to us.  That’s not selfish, that’s self.  For me, after 45 years, I knew my friend just a little bit better than the day before.  So ultimately, it affected me too.  Just like it will for the others he chooses to share in this tangible way, in a book.  Some will say “that’s what influencers do,” they share and tell their stories.  For what purpose?  Money? Fame? Power? (Again meh) So what?  

What I love about my friend’s position is that he really doesn’t care where it goes beyond his immediate audience.  For a very long time he knew he wanted to write the story, formalize and immortalize it, and share it with an audience who means something to him.  It’s made me reassess my love of writing and creating and the “why?”  about it.  

I took a break while finishing up this piece and went for a four-mile walk, listening to Michael Gervais’ Finding Mastery podcast.  In it, while talking with Malcolm Gladwell on creativity, he asks one of the greatest coaching questions I’ve heard in a while; “Are you creating for the music inside you or the audience outside you?”  I was blown away by this question.  I admire my friend because he’s writing for his inner music first.  

I started with habits and resolutions and after a few miles it dawned on me — changing habits and making resolutions is about forgiveness.  Specifically forgiving ourselves.  CS Lewis once wrote that “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.”  How willing are we to practice forgiveness on ourselves?  My resolution has opened doors to something better.  I think it’s already freeing me to write with greater adventure and uncomfortableness.  And I’m really excited about it.  It took someone whom I had not seen in many years – even though we talk and text frequently – to show me I haven’t been going far enough.  

What will you do with your latest resolution?  Is it really about that thing you’re giving up, not going to do anymore, or changing a “nasty” habit.  It’s deeper than that.  Resolutions provide space for what’s possible, what’s next for you.  

While I’m not clear on my endnote yet, I am more clear to move forward on things in progress. It’s what hippos do, we consider, and make decisions to change.  Time for a swim…

In the end, you will do what you want. And, then ask, does it move you forward?  Check out my latest thoughts in a completely different format that merges Christian and other spiritual thinking with my own ideas.  I call it “Spiritual Hippo.”  Let me know what you think…