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I struggled to write this blog. I wrote three in as many weeks and liked them all …until I realized I had written them before.
Simon Sinek says the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.
“It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.” is generally attributed to Abraham Lincoln (although Adlai Stevenson really made this thought popular).
Both point to something deeper than today’s favorite corporate buzzword: burnout. This morning I counted almost 20 emails, blogs, comments or courses that referenced burnout. I may need to take PTO just to recover from seeing and hearing it this much.
It was all my fault — I earned it — and what I learned the hard way.
“I’m not going to play that game with you. Tell me what you do or I’m heading back to the office.”
That was the CIO’s “red” line — before we’d even ordered lunch.
There is always a place for transactional exchanges, it’s how we wrap things up, finalize the paperwork, decide on the next appointment, and make decisions for which we can be held accountable. Our learning however remains very superficial. It’s the shallow end of the pool.
There is always a place for transactional exchanges, it’s how we wrap things up, finalize the paperwork, decide on the next appointment, and make decisions for which we can be held accountable. Our learning however remains very superficial. It’s the shallow end of the pool.
My wife has a t-shirt that literally says “Focus On Me.” Straight, to the point, simple. Welcome to my world. I love the message because it demands an outcome that is valuable to her, and ultimately to me.
There is lots of talk these days about the servant leadership model. The benevolent leader. The one who cares more about others than themself. It’s an honorable, important perspective and a needed one.
Can it always be good though, if leaders don’t focus on “me” once in a while? Or more often than once in a while? You’ve heard the ridiculous old business cliche “There is no I in team.” However there is a ME. Self-care is not being selfish and it needs to span multiple sectors of one’s life. If we think of our life as a wheel with many sections, each section must match the others to create the smoothest journey. Self-care can be applied to every section: your significant other, family, friends, career, finance, health and well-being, where you live and what you do for fun and recreation.
As a reformed social media abuser, I have significantly reduced my need to check my very few platforms to view who sees me, likes me, even loves me. Now, I only look once or twice a month to see the activity taking place in my welcomed absence.
Last week, however, all of these notifications kept banging into me. The little number in the upper corner of the app kept growing and growing. Fast forward to the end of the week and I decide to take a peek. Lo and behold, people were commenting on my work anniversary for Soul Patch Hippo: Success Coaching. Eight years. EIGHT! Is there a ‘Y’ at the end of that number? (Maybe it’s my age I’m thinking about…) If it wasn’t for all of you – my friends, family, colleagues, and most importantly, clients – I might’ve missed this auspicious occasion.
33 days. That’s how long it’s been since I gave up social media and surprisingly I’ve lived to tell this tale.
Well, how did I get here? (Channel David Byrne’s voice)
Those pesky New Year’s resolutions — at least the ones we don’t abandon ten days after we make them – got me into this experiment. Among the changes I committed to start – and in some cases make permanent – was to give up social media for January. My version of Dry January.
Things I noticed so far:
Based on the title, some of you – maybe as many as half of you – are incorrectly assuming this is a politically based piece. Coming off a very exhausting, contentious and important election year, I can see why you would think this. (Hint: Blue v Red) Another possibility is one that denotes a feeling or mood, the blues. Let’s lean that way.
“It’s forgotten, we can move on.”
How many of us have been in a conversation that ends like that?
First, a little backstory. My family was displaced by the first of two hurricanes that visited the suncoast of Florida this fall. For those not familiar with Florida and its very distinct regions, the suncoast is the southwest coast of Florida, on the beautiful and fickle Gulf of Mexico. So…so what? Home to this year’s star storm dance partners; Helene and Milton.
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